Some relationships have deepened. The rest will effortlessly go.

 

Weaponised incompetence: the Bondi edition

 SHE’S NOT YOUR MOTHER, SHE’S YOUR FUCKING PARTNER

How Men Confuse Emotional Labour With Love

by Zen Prem

He doesn't want a girlfriend.

He wants a mother who'll also touch his dick occasionally.

It’s Freudian enough that even Freud would take one look and say, “Mate… this is waaaay above my pay grade.”

You've met him.

I’ve been him.

He enters a relationship like a guy walking into a high-stakes poker table with Monopoly money, declaring he’s “working on himself,” as if self-improvement were something he could bluff his way through with a charming smile and two functioning sentences.

The only things he's worked on lately are his FIFA ranking, his protein shake consistency, and a deep, spiritual belief that women are “complicated.”

He doesn’t want partnership. He wants parenting with orgasms.

He wants you to soothe him, organise him, emotionally babysit him, rebuild his self-esteem, stabilise his moods, remind him he’s “a good man,” keep track of his appointments, and praise him like a golden retriever every time he replies to a text within the same 48 hours.

Ask him to communicate? He shuts down like dodgy Wi-Fi in a storm.

Ask him to take accountability? Suddenly you’re “attacking” him , as if holding up a mirror counts as aggravated assault.

Ask him to grow? He becomes a discount monk who “needs space” — not to reflect, but to avoid making eye contact with his own bullshit.

These are the men who call themselves “emotionally unavailable” like it’s an astrological sign and not a giant neon hazard symbol flashing RUN, GIRL ,RUN.

These are the men who think “I’m not good at feelings” is a quirky personality trait, instead of a confession that they've done zero emotional maintenance since the early days of MySpace.

These are the men who expect you to carry every emotional grocery bag while they wander behind you empty-handed saying,

“Babe, I’m just simple,” the same way a toddler explains a mess he definitely made.

No, mate , you're not fucking simple. You're underdeveloped.

And here’s where the comedy becomes tragic:

The moment you stop mothering him, he accuses you of “changing.”

No, sweetheart. She didn’t change , she clocked out of a job she never applied for.

She’s not cold. She’s not mean. She’s not “being dramatic.”

She’s just done being your unpaid therapist, personal assistant, emotional Sherpa, emergency parent, and part-time sex coach.

Love didn’t exhaust her.

Carrying you did

A woman can love you. But she can’t raise you.

She can’t fix wounds you refuse to admit you have.

She can’t carry the entire relationship while you contribute vibes, a Netflix login, and occasional foreplay.

If you want a mother, talk to yours.

If you want a partner, become someone who can actually meet one.

Groundbreaking concept, I know.

And for the men reading this thinking,

“Fuck… this feels personal”…

It is.

That’s how truth works. It slaps the ones who recognise themselves in it.

Women will tag their exes.

Men will either get defensive or get honest.

Choose honest. It’s cheaper than therapy and far less humiliating than waking up at fifty wondering why every woman who ever loved you left looking exhausted.

She’s not your mother.

She’s not your therapist.

She’s not your emotional project manager.

She’s a woman who expected a partner and got a dependent.

Do better. Stop looking for a mother. Grow into a man who doesn’t need one.

Because women are tired. And frankly, so is your mum.

A woman can hold you, heal you, steady you , but she cannot mother the boy you refuse to outgrow.

The boy in you wants to be saved.

The man in you knows he has to do the saving.

© Zen Prem 2025

(Gender shifts. Truth doesn’t.)

If this rattled something loose:

The Lie About Love

Beyond Bullshit to Bliss (with Samantha Spiro)

Available on Amazon

More Plata. Match effort not emotion, and know when you are standing infront of a mirror not a wall.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQhiacdkQ3z/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

" Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right." Peter Girnus

About to airport: On the cusp of a gemini full moon, and ive got that ambivalent not sure if I want to go back angst

 Transform, believe manifesr