Saturday, 14 February 2026

Fernando. Not doubt exactly, more like trepidation.

 

Universal Tarot Reading

Five of PentaclesDeathTwo of WandsStrengthFive of CupsQueen of Pentacles

How you feel

Your current emotional state and inner landscape.

Five of Pentacles

Five of Pentacles

You feel shut out in the cold, as if life’s warmth and support stay not quite within grasp. Worry clings to you and turns small problems into proof that you are on your own, whether the pressure comes from money, work, health, or love. There is a sense of scarcity around you, and it feeds anxiety, insecurity, and a quiet fear that things are slipping beyond your control.

Like the figures limping through snow beneath the church window, you notice help exists but you cannot quite bring yourself to ask for it. Pride and humiliation wrestle inside you: you want relief, yet you do not want to be seen needing anything. This keeps you isolated and can make emotional ties feel unsatisfying or distant, even when people are near. If there is betrayal, secrets, or a lack of affection in your life, it lands on an already tender place and deepens the feeling of being unwanted.

This moment asks for humility and a rethinking of what truly matters. You are able to limit the damage by prioritizing: deciding what you protect, what you pause, and what you let fall away so you can recover. Support becomes available the instant you allow yourself to seek it, rest when you need it, and choose values over appearances. The hardship is real, but you are not required to carry it alone.

What you desire

Your hopes, wishes, and what you are reaching for.

Death

Death

You want a clean ending and a fresh start. Something in your life feels finished, and you crave the certainty of closing that chapter completely rather than patching it up again. You prefer a decisive cut that clears confusion and makes space for new beginnings.

The imagery speaks to this: the scythe and dark robes show your willingness to sever what drains you, while the white rose on black signals purity and hope rising out of what looks like loss. The rising sun points to transition that leads somewhere brighter, and the child suggests a simple, honest readiness to begin again without carrying the past like a burden.

This desire for transformation can touch your career, your love life, friendships, or your whole lifestyle. You focus on what no longer fits, and you feel the need to reject the old patterns so the new can arrive. Nothing here indicates literal death; it reflects the natural cycle of change, and your insistence on moving forward with wisdom earned through experience.

What you fear

The anxieties and concerns that hold you back.

Two of Wands

Two of Wands

You see success within reach and it unsettles you. The rewards you work for—security, recognition, a step up—feel real enough to touch, yet part of you worries about what happens after you get there. You sense that forward movement asks you to commit, and the pressure of that commitment stirs self-doubt about whether you can sustain what you build.

The image of one wand held and one set aside mirrors your anxiety around choosing. Two promising alternatives appear, but your energy splits when you keep both alive, and that drains your enthusiasm. You fear making the “wrong” decision even when both paths lead to similar results, because choosing one means closing a door and living with the consequences.

Partnership stands out as a key to your progress, and that brings its own unease. You want the benefit of a joint venture, yet you worry about fairness, trust, and whether the other party matches your focus and integrity. You hesitate at the idea that your success ties to someone else’s actions, and you stay vigilant against outcomes that feel unequal—either taking more than you deserve or receiving less than what is due.

What is working for you

The supportive forces and strengths in your life.

Strength

Strength

You move through this moment with a brave heart. Your self-confidence rises naturally, and your courage feels steady and unstoppable. Even when things look intense, you meet them head-on and keep going, trusting your own resilience.

Your power is raw and alive, like a lion’s hot vitality, but you guide it with patience and compassion. You control impulses that could turn pompous, vindictive, or reckless, and you redirect that force toward something constructive. Gentle self-discipline becomes your true advantage; you do not need to dominate to win, you only need to stay calm and consistent.

You turn conflict into cooperation by staying responsible with your emotions. Perseverance carries you through adversaries, stress, or any recovery process, and you prove that strength is not harshness but steadiness. When you act from caring consideration, the fiercest parts of you become allies, and your courage produces real rewards.

What is working against you

Obstacles and challenges blocking your path.

Five of Cups

Five of Cups

The Five of Cups shows you standing with your eyes fixed on what spills away, and that focus works like a weight on your heart. You replay loss, disappointment, or a painful letdown and let it color everything in front of you. Even if the original event sits in the past, the feeling stays fresh, and it drains your motivation and trust.

This card suggests your mind returns to what went wrong: the relationship that fails, the support that doesn’t come through, the moment you wish you could undo. Regret makes you believe the setback defines the whole story, so you miss what still stands and what still supports you. When you expect to be hurt or disappointed again, you hold back, and that hesitation becomes its own obstacle.

The image also reminds you that not everything is lost; two cups remain upright, waiting for your attention. Your strength is in shifting focus from mourning to moving on, from what cannot be changed to what you can build now. Optimism isn’t denial here; it is the choice to rest your gaze on what remains, take one steady step forward, and allow a different path to form.

Final outcome

The likely result if you continue on your current path.

Queen of Pentacles

Queen of Pentacles

You arrive at a place of steady comfort built through practical choices and consistent effort. You trust what is proven, you value quality, and you make sensible decisions that improve your day-to-day life. Money and resources flow in a grounded way because you manage them with shrewd judgment, choosing what supports security and what genuinely adds beauty and usefulness to your surroundings.

Support shows up through someone who is reliable, experienced, and materially stable, offering clear guidance or tangible help with finances. You receive advice that feels pragmatic rather than flashy: budgeting that actually works, a smarter plan for savings, or a grounded approach to business and career that turns effort into results. This influence encourages you to work steadily, protect what you have, and grow what you are building without unnecessary risk.

The outcome favors growth you can see and touch: a stronger home base, improved health habits, a successful work plan, or a business routine that pays off over time. You feel more resourced, more capable, and more at peace because your priorities align with long-term stability and simple joys. Wealth here is not just display; it is well-made, well-managed, and woven into a life that feels safe, supportive, and nourishing.

Wednesday, 11 February 2026

Meditating the idiots out of my life. MLTC first. But where are my hosue papers?

 

Universal Tarot Reading

Two of PentaclesThree of WandsAce of WandsThe Wheel of FortuneThe WorldJudgement

How you feel

Your current emotional state and inner landscape.

Two of Pentacles

Two of Pentacles

You feel in motion, like you are standing at the edge of shifting waves while keeping two important responsibilities in the air at once. Your mood fluctuates between confidence and strain, because you sense the status quo doesn’t hold and you can’t rely on things staying steady. Even so, you trust your adaptability; you know you can adjust your footing and keep going even when circumstances change quickly.

You feel pulled by competing demands, and choosing one over the other doesn’t sit easily with you. Part of you wants to focus fully on one priority, but you also feel the need to keep the other alive so nothing collapses while your attention is elsewhere. This balancing act keeps you busy and alert, yet it can leave you feeling like neither area receives enough care to truly thrive.

You expect challenges, minor setbacks, and a bit of financial or practical uncertainty, but you don’t feel powerless. You feel that the outcome depends on how you respond: clear priorities, careful planning, and good time-management keep you afloat. With prudent handling of resources and steady multitasking, you create a workable balance and turn change into something you can manage rather than something that manages you.

What you desire

Your hopes, wishes, and what you are reaching for.

Three of Wands

Three of Wands

You want expansion that comes from what you already set in motion. You look out at the horizon and feel your effort turning into something tangible, like boats moving toward shore with the first real signs of return. You crave the productive stretch where your energy rises, your ideas have room to grow, and your work begins to show promise beyond the immediate moment.

You want opportunities that reward creativity, inventiveness, and initiative, especially through new career directions or practical ventures. You prefer progress that is built with preparation and consistent follow-through, not quick flashes that fade. You are drawn to alliances and partnerships that add real-world know-how and steady support, because shared skills and practical assistance make your plans more workable and more likely to succeed.

You also want the patience and caution to time things well. You aim to wait until results are real and delivered before you announce victory, staying alert while the outcome is still forming. Slow and steady feels right to you now: keep planning, keep watching for openings, and keep investing in long-term success while you let your ships come in.

What you fear

The anxieties and concerns that hold you back.

Ace of Wands

Ace of Wands

The Ace of Wands shows a spark that arrives fast and bright, asking you to begin. You sense the raw energy of creation, the moment an idea becomes a living possibility, and that intensity feels risky. It is not a small step; it is the kind of inspiration that can change your direction through a new job, a business venture, or even the start of new life. You feel how quickly enthusiasm can turn into commitment, and you hesitate at what that demands.

You resist the pressure that comes with wanting something this much. Ambition rises, innovation stirs, and you know you can make it real, yet you worry about being consumed by the drive to succeed. You fear the responsibility of picking up the wand and not being able to put it down again, of discovering you have found your purpose and having to reorganize everything around it. The more you engage, the more energy grows, and that growth feels like it could outpace your control.

This card points to a powerful beginning that asks for courage rather than certainty. You do not lack creativity or enthusiasm; you fear the consequences of your own momentum and the visibility that success brings. If you allow the spark to stay a spark without judging how far it must go, it becomes usable fuel instead of a wildfire. When you honor the newness and take one deliberate step, inspiration stays clean and the path unfolds without forcing you to have the whole future decided today.

What is working for you

The supportive forces and strengths in your life.

The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune turns in your favor, and the lift you feel comes from forces larger than your planning. A run of good luck, timely openings, and helpful turns arrives as if the wheel itself rotates and brings the right circumstances to your doorstep. It is not all of your doing, but it is still yours to receive.

You notice synchronicity: meaningful coincidences, chance meetings, or information appearing exactly when you need it. The Fool steps out of retreat and recognizes the moment for change, and you do too. You go with the flow, trust the timing, and let transformation move you forward without forcing it.

Nothing stays the same, so you stay flexible as the cycle shifts. You take advantage of the opportunities that rise, while you think about the repercussions of your actions and adjust your plans to match what is happening around you. You tend carefully to what you control and release what you cannot, and that balanced response keeps the wheel turning smoothly in your favor.

What is working against you

Obstacles and challenges blocking your path.

The World

The World

The World shows a finish line so close that it tempts you to stop running. You sense completion, accomplishment, and happiness within reach, yet fear turns that promise into pressure: “What if you fail at the last step?” That anxiety makes delays feel like signs to quit, and it can push you to change direction just when everything is actually falling into place.

The dancing figure within the almond-shaped wreath reminds you that all four elements are already within your sight and power, but the obstacle is forgetting that wholeness. You second-guess your maturity and the deeper understanding you have earned, and you look for missing pieces instead of recognizing how much you have integrated. When you treat the ending as fragile, you create boundaries where there are none and shrink your options.

Stay with your plan and keep faith in the timing. Progress may look slow, yet the change underway is major and inexorable, carrying you toward a successful closing of one chapter and a good beginning of the next. Trust the universe, keep taking the next right step, and you move through the final turn with balance, fulfillment, and the kind of freedom that can also signal new journeys and opportunities.

Final outcome

The likely result if you continue on your current path.

Judgement

Judgement

A clear turning point arrives, like a trumpet call you cannot ignore. You take stock of where you are and what an entire chapter of your life asks of you now. Something long in the making comes up for review, and you see what is worth carrying forward and what has to be laid down so you can take the last step of this stage of your journey.

An opportunity appears that has far-reaching implications and it changes your life for the better if you answer it. Events move faster than you expect, and momentum builds quickly once you commit to a direction. You receive success and genuine enjoyment as past efforts pay off, and you recognize that your choices and actions lead directly to this opening.

You cannot run from the past here; you face it, learn from it, and move on with a lighter load. Forgiveness becomes a key that unlocks the next phase, and it begins with you choosing to forgive so you can also feel forgiven. A major decision stands before you, and logic serves you better than instinct as you weigh consequences and choose the path that offers absolution, renewal, and a clean start.

MLTC is the ultimate disappointer. Unreliable people really mess with my wah!

 Four of Cups

This is a clear nudge to re-evaluate your aims and refresh your emotional investment in your life. You need new directions, new stimulation, and challenges that give you something to care and fight for, rather than simply enduring what is safe. Take action in small, real ways now—set a new goal, change a routine, take a measured risk—because the cost of staying numb is higher than the cost of trying and adjusting.

Five of Pentacles

This card points to a desire to rethink what matters so you can survive without losing self-respect. You want to set priorities and limit damage by deciding what you can no longer carry, whether that means letting certain obligations fall away, addressing job and financial concerns directly, or admitting where love and loyalty feel thin. Humility serves you now: reaching out, accepting guidance, and choosing practical support over isolation gives you the best chance to turn this setback into a reset.

Nine of Cups

You also fear the responsibility that comes with contentment. When your efforts pay off and projects move toward a satisfying end, you may feel pressure to keep producing, to prove you deserve it, or to make everyone around you happy too. The urge to share your good fortune is strong, yet you may worry that giving will drain you, or that receiving will obligate you to meet expectations you never agreed to.

At a deeper level, you fear that happiness is fragile: that family warmth, companionship, and the easy sense of kinship can vanish if you relax for a moment. Even creativity and cheer can feel risky if you expect the other shoe to drop. This card asks you to let fulfillment be something you build through steady effort and honest generosity, trusting that the more you offer from a grounded place, the more support and contentment return to you.

Five of Wands

What helps you most is your perseverance in the middle of the scuffle. You keep showing up, keep working, and keep adjusting your stance without expecting the path to be smooth. The struggle is not pleasant, but it is productive: it reveals where you resist limitation and where you need to refine your strategy. Victory stays possible because you keep your will engaged, even while accepting that progress may come with a personal cost.

Five of Cups

This card suggests your mind returns to what went wrong: the relationship that fails, the support that doesn’t come through, the moment you wish you could undo. Regret makes you believe the setback defines the whole story, so you miss what still stands and what still supports you. When you expect to be hurt or disappointed again, you hold back, and that hesitation becomes its own obstacle.

The image also reminds you that not everything is lost; two cups remain upright, waiting for your attention. Your strength is in shifting focus from mourning to moving on, from what cannot be changed to what you can build now. Optimism isn’t denial here; it is the choice to rest your gaze on what remains, take one steady step forward, and allow a different path to form

Ten of Swords


Words, actions, and hidden motives around you cause harm, and you see clearly where you are vulnerable. This is not a small crisis; it is a decisive defeat that you cannot sidestep, so worry only drains you without offering a solution.

Yet the ending also brings resolution because it leaves nothing to salvage and nothing to negotiate. What is finished is finished, and that clarity frees you to stop trying to revive what cannot live. From the wreckage you start fresh, stronger and more aware, and you build a new dream on ground that no longer belongs to the past.



Sunday, 14 December 2025

Weaponised incompetence: the Bondi edition

 SHE’S NOT YOUR MOTHER, SHE’S YOUR FUCKING PARTNER

How Men Confuse Emotional Labour With Love
He doesn't want a girlfriend.
He wants a mother who'll also touch his dick occasionally.
It’s Freudian enough that even Freud would take one look and say, “Mate… this is waaaay above my pay grade.”
You've met him.
I’ve been him.
He enters a relationship like a guy walking into a high-stakes poker table with Monopoly money, declaring he’s “working on himself,” as if self-improvement were something he could bluff his way through with a charming smile and two functioning sentences.
The only things he's worked on lately are his FIFA ranking, his protein shake consistency, and a deep, spiritual belief that women are “complicated.”
He doesn’t want partnership. He wants parenting with orgasms.
He wants you to soothe him, organise him, emotionally babysit him, rebuild his self-esteem, stabilise his moods, remind him he’s “a good man,” keep track of his appointments, and praise him like a golden retriever every time he replies to a text within the same 48 hours.
Ask him to communicate? He shuts down like dodgy Wi-Fi in a storm.
Ask him to take accountability? Suddenly you’re “attacking” him , as if holding up a mirror counts as aggravated assault.
Ask him to grow? He becomes a discount monk who “needs space” — not to reflect, but to avoid making eye contact with his own bullshit.
These are the men who call themselves “emotionally unavailable” like it’s an astrological sign and not a giant neon hazard symbol flashing RUN, GIRL ,RUN.
These are the men who think “I’m not good at feelings” is a quirky personality trait, instead of a confession that they've done zero emotional maintenance since the early days of MySpace.
These are the men who expect you to carry every emotional grocery bag while they wander behind you empty-handed saying,
“Babe, I’m just simple,” the same way a toddler explains a mess he definitely made.
No, mate , you're not fucking simple. You're underdeveloped.
And here’s where the comedy becomes tragic:
The moment you stop mothering him, he accuses you of “changing.”
No, sweetheart. She didn’t change , she clocked out of a job she never applied for.
She’s not cold. She’s not mean. She’s not “being dramatic.”
She’s just done being your unpaid therapist, personal assistant, emotional Sherpa, emergency parent, and part-time sex coach.
Love didn’t exhaust her.
Carrying you did
A woman can love you. But she can’t raise you.
She can’t fix wounds you refuse to admit you have.
She can’t carry the entire relationship while you contribute vibes, a Netflix login, and occasional foreplay.
If you want a mother, talk to yours.
If you want a partner, become someone who can actually meet one.
Groundbreaking concept, I know.
And for the men reading this thinking,
“Fuck… this feels personal”…
It is.
That’s how truth works. It slaps the ones who recognise themselves in it.
Women will tag their exes.
Men will either get defensive or get honest.
Choose honest. It’s cheaper than therapy and far less humiliating than waking up at fifty wondering why every woman who ever loved you left looking exhausted.
She’s not your mother.
She’s not your therapist.
She’s not your emotional project manager.
She’s a woman who expected a partner and got a dependent.
Do better. Stop looking for a mother. Grow into a man who doesn’t need one.
Because women are tired. And frankly, so is your mum.
A woman can hold you, heal you, steady you , but she cannot mother the boy you refuse to outgrow.
The boy in you wants to be saved.
The man in you knows he has to do the saving.
© Zen Prem 2025
(Gender shifts. Truth doesn’t.)
If this rattled something loose:
📕 The Lie About Love
📗 Beyond Bullshit to Bliss (with Samantha Spiro)
Available on Amazon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️