Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts

Monday, 17 August 2026

Upsetting the neighbours to restore the emf balance.

 1. The ritual was called “Wiฤhรกล‹pi Wรณyute” — star feeding.

Lakota healers used it for those who lost loved ones or survived violence. The person didn’t talk about the trauma. They fed it. They’d gather stones representing the pain, then carry them to a river and release them one by one while speaking the memory out loud to the water. The final stone was kept as a reminder that grief was witnessed, not erased. 2. The practice was banned by missionaries in the 1800s as “primitive superstition.” But in 2019, Johns Hopkins trauma researchers recreated it with PTSD patients. They found the physical act of releasing objects while verbalizing trauma engages both hemispheres of the brain — something talk therapy alone doesn’t achieve. Results after 6 sessions: • PTSD symptom reduction: 73% • Intrusive thoughts decreased by 81% • Emotional regulation improved 6x faster than traditional therapy 3. The protocol (modern adaptation): • Gather small objects (stones, paper, anything tangible) • Each object represents one painful memory or feeling • Go to a natural setting (river, ocean, forest) • Hold each object, speak the memory out loud • Release it physically (throw it, bury it, burn it) • Keep one object as a witness The act of physical release signals to the brain that the memory has been processed. 4. Therapy organizations pushed back hard. One psychologist association called it: “Unscientific and potentially harmful.” But the data showed otherwise. The modern therapy model profits from long-term treatment. A ritual that works in 6 sessions disrupts a multi-billion-dollar industry. 5. Try it with one painful memory. Lakota healers said: “The wound that’s held grows. The wound that’s released heals.” Your brain doesn’t need endless analysis. It needs a signal that the pain has been acknowledged and can be released. Most people are still carrying stones from decades ago. via Wolf Spirit

#Indigenous #NativeAmerican #Grief #Healing

Friday, 5 June 2026

The holes in the road begin.




 

๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฑ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฑ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜€. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ท๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป. This is the Boundary Reaction Test. ๐Ÿญ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป Visible behavior: You say what does not work for you, and they respond with, “So I’m the problem?” Misread meaning: “Maybe I sounded too harsh.” Hidden cost: You start managing their defensiveness instead of protecting your limit. Cleaner decision lens: A healthy person may feel uncomfortable with a boundary, but they do not make you responsible for their discomfort. ๐Ÿฎ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ต๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป Visible behavior: You name what you need, and suddenly the focus shifts to how bad they feel. Misread meaning: “I should comfort them first.” Hidden cost: Your boundary gets buried under emotional cleanup. Cleaner decision lens: Their feelings matter. But their feelings do not erase the original issue. ๐Ÿฏ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—น๐˜†, ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ต ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—พ๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—น๐˜† Visible behavior: They say “fine,” then become cold, distant, sarcastic, or less available. Misread meaning: “At least they respected it.” Hidden cost: You learn that having standards comes with emotional consequences. Cleaner decision lens: Compliance is not respect if it arrives with punishment. ๐Ÿฐ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ธ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป Visible behavior: You explain the boundary again and again, but every answer creates another debate. Misread meaning: “Maybe I need to make it make sense.” Hidden cost: Your limit turns into a negotiation you never agreed to enter. Cleaner decision lens: A boundary does not need to be endlessly justified to be valid. ๐Ÿฑ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ณ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ป Visible behavior: The warmth returns once you minimize the need, laugh it off, or reassure them they still have access. Misread meaning: “We are okay now.” Hidden cost: Peace becomes something you purchase with self-abandonment. Cleaner decision lens: Notice whether connection requires you to betray the standard you just named. ๐——๐—ผ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜†, ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜? ๐—•๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜.

Friday, 6 March 2026

All about pete/ I dont care any more.

 

 A neurologist revealed: people don’t lose feelings — the brain shuts down the circuit that enables love. And it occurs from one particular event:

1. He explained love doesn’t “fade.” What fades is the salience circuit — the network that signals the brain, “this person matters.” When a partner repeatedly violates an expectation you never expressed but deeply relied on, the salience system flips. Not gradually. Immediately. The brain stops marking their signals as meaningful.
2. The event is nearly always the same: a moment when you see the person’s actual priority, and it’s not you. Not betrayal. Not ab*se. Something quieter: they pick convenience over you, comfort over you, audience over you, ego over you — and your nervous system detects a mismatch between who you believed they were and who they really are.
3. The neurologist said the shift appears in scans as a drop in prediction coupling — the brain stops anticipating the partner’s responses. That’s why people say, “I don’t recognize them anymore.” You’re not losing connection. You’re losing the internal model that previously made connection effortless.
4. The harsh part: once this switch flips, affection doesn’t vanish — it becomes non-routable. The emotional signal fires, but has nowhere to go. That’s why you feel numb, confused, or suddenly indifferent. The brain protects you by disabling the circuitry that would keep you attached to someone who’s no longer safe for your identity.
5. His advice was the most shocking thing he stated: “Feelings don’t die. They wait for a safer target.” If you want the circuit restored, don’t chase the person — rebuild the predictability your nervous system lost. Consistency, clarity, and follow-through reopen the salience network. Without these, the brain keeps love locked behind a firewall you can’t override through will.



I've been a professional fiction writer since 2002. Here's what I've learned.

This list assumes your books are good enough. You'll know when you know. 1. Write when you can. Finish what you start. Self-publish what you finish. Repeat. 2. You don't need gatekeepers. 3. The only thing you should pay for is cover art (and maybe formatting if you haven't learned how to do that yourself.) People do judge a book by its cover. 4. The only advertising that ever worked for me is BookBub, and that doesn't work as well as it used to. Your best advertising is writing a good book. 5. Kindle Unlimited earns more than going wide on all platforms. Make sure your Amazon listing sings. 6. Your online presence will not help sell books. Social media doesn't boost sales. 7. Don't read your reviews, or worry about reviews at all. 8. Periodic sales and discounts and freebies increase units sold and income generated. 9. Be polite, gracious, humble, and thankful. 10. Don't stress over sales. Just keep improving your craft. 11. Never give up.

Sunday, 14 December 2025

Weaponised incompetence: the Bondi edition

 SHE’S NOT YOUR MOTHER, SHE’S YOUR FUCKING PARTNER

How Men Confuse Emotional Labour With Love
He doesn't want a girlfriend.
He wants a mother who'll also touch his dick occasionally.
It’s Freudian enough that even Freud would take one look and say, “Mate… this is waaaay above my pay grade.”
You've met him.
I’ve been him.
He enters a relationship like a guy walking into a high-stakes poker table with Monopoly money, declaring he’s “working on himself,” as if self-improvement were something he could bluff his way through with a charming smile and two functioning sentences.
The only things he's worked on lately are his FIFA ranking, his protein shake consistency, and a deep, spiritual belief that women are “complicated.”
He doesn’t want partnership. He wants parenting with orgasms.
He wants you to soothe him, organise him, emotionally babysit him, rebuild his self-esteem, stabilise his moods, remind him he’s “a good man,” keep track of his appointments, and praise him like a golden retriever every time he replies to a text within the same 48 hours.
Ask him to communicate? He shuts down like dodgy Wi-Fi in a storm.
Ask him to take accountability? Suddenly you’re “attacking” him , as if holding up a mirror counts as aggravated assault.
Ask him to grow? He becomes a discount monk who “needs space” — not to reflect, but to avoid making eye contact with his own bullshit.
These are the men who call themselves “emotionally unavailable” like it’s an astrological sign and not a giant neon hazard symbol flashing RUN, GIRL ,RUN.
These are the men who think “I’m not good at feelings” is a quirky personality trait, instead of a confession that they've done zero emotional maintenance since the early days of MySpace.
These are the men who expect you to carry every emotional grocery bag while they wander behind you empty-handed saying,
“Babe, I’m just simple,” the same way a toddler explains a mess he definitely made.
No, mate , you're not fucking simple. You're underdeveloped.
And here’s where the comedy becomes tragic:
The moment you stop mothering him, he accuses you of “changing.”
No, sweetheart. She didn’t change , she clocked out of a job she never applied for.
She’s not cold. She’s not mean. She’s not “being dramatic.”
She’s just done being your unpaid therapist, personal assistant, emotional Sherpa, emergency parent, and part-time sex coach.
Love didn’t exhaust her.
Carrying you did
A woman can love you. But she can’t raise you.
She can’t fix wounds you refuse to admit you have.
She can’t carry the entire relationship while you contribute vibes, a Netflix login, and occasional foreplay.
If you want a mother, talk to yours.
If you want a partner, become someone who can actually meet one.
Groundbreaking concept, I know.
And for the men reading this thinking,
“Fuck… this feels personal”…
It is.
That’s how truth works. It slaps the ones who recognise themselves in it.
Women will tag their exes.
Men will either get defensive or get honest.
Choose honest. It’s cheaper than therapy and far less humiliating than waking up at fifty wondering why every woman who ever loved you left looking exhausted.
She’s not your mother.
She’s not your therapist.
She’s not your emotional project manager.
She’s a woman who expected a partner and got a dependent.
Do better. Stop looking for a mother. Grow into a man who doesn’t need one.
Because women are tired. And frankly, so is your mum.
A woman can hold you, heal you, steady you , but she cannot mother the boy you refuse to outgrow.
The boy in you wants to be saved.
The man in you knows he has to do the saving.
© Zen Prem 2025
(Gender shifts. Truth doesn’t.)
If this rattled something loose:
๐Ÿ“• The Lie About Love
๐Ÿ“— Beyond Bullshit to Bliss (with Samantha Spiro)
Available on Amazon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thursday, 25 September 2025

rohin expulsion. ( I shouldn't have to pursuade you)

 The only person we should for a moment  ever contemplate being with is soemone who at the start of the journey can already be at the table with a conviction to match our own.. We need to get the wavering defended ones out of our lives immediately. That will mean ejecting the majority of people we meet. All the more reason to focus on the very few who have got native Enthusiasm

Stay Away From All but the Most Enthusiastic

It can take a very long time indeed for some of us to come to a highly basic-sounding realisation: we should only contemplate going out with people who are very enthusiastic about us. From the start. Without the need for persuasion. Without any call for begging or chasing or strategic withholding of affection or visits to therapy. Just plainly and simply keen, open and ready – from the get-go.

This can sound extremely odd and, deep down, surprising, because so much in our culture and in our pasts fosters an altogether different kind of philosophy, to an extent that we may never quite have noticed.......Start your 7-day free trial to keep reading and access 2,000+ articles, courses, and tools with a subscription to The School of Life App. Follow this link to find out more.