Wifi-rama
Karpman used triangles to map conflicted or drama-intense
relationship transactions.[1] The Karpman Drama Triangle models the connection
between personal responsibility and power in conflicts, and the destructive and
shifting roles people play.[3] He defined three roles in the conflict;
Persecutor, Rescuer (the one up positions) and Victim (one down position).
Karpman placed these three roles on an inverted triangle and referred to them
as being the three aspects, or faces of drama. Karpman, who had interests in
acting and was a member of the Screen Actors Guild, chose the term "drama
triangle" rather than the term "conflict triangle" as the Victim
in his model is not intended to represent an actual victim, but rather someone
feeling or acting like a victim.[1]
1.The Victim: The
Victim's stance is "Poor me!" The Victim feels victimized, oppressed,
helpless, hopeless, powerless, ashamed, and seems unable to make decisions,
solve problems, take pleasure in life, or achieve insight. The Victim, if not
being persecuted, will seek out a Persecutor and also a Rescuer who will save
the day but also perpetuate the Victim's negative feelings.
2.The Rescuer:
The rescuer's line is "Let me help you." A classic enabler, the
Rescuer feels guilty if he/she doesn't go to the rescue. Yet his/her rescuing
has negative effects: It keeps the Victim dependent and gives the Victim
permission to fail. The rewards derived from this rescue role are that the
focus is taken off of the rescuer. When he/she focuses their energy on someone else,
it enables them to ignore their own anxiety and issues. This rescue role is
also very pivotal because their actual primary interest is really an avoidance
of their own problems disguised as concern for the victim’s needs.
3.The Persecutor:
The Persecutor insists, "It's all your fault." The Persecutor is
controlling, blaming, critical, oppressive, angry, authoritative, rigid, and
superior.
Initially, a drama triangle arises when a person takes on
the role of a victim or persecutor. This person then feels the need to enlist
other players into the conflict. As often happens, a rescuer is encouraged to
enter the situation.[4] These enlisted players take on roles of their own that
are not static, and therefore various scenarios can occur. For example, the victim
might turn on the rescuer, the rescuer then switches to persecuting.
The motivations for each participant and the reason the
situation endures is that each gets their unspoken (and frequently unconscious)
psychological wishes/needs met in a manner they feel justified, without having
to acknowledge the broader dysfunction or harm done in the situation as a
whole. As such, each participant is acting upon their own selfish needs, rather
than acting in a genuinely responsible or altruistic manner.[citation needed]
Thus any character from all of three in this triangle might "ordinarily
come on like a plaintive victim; it is now clear that the one can switch into
the role of Persecutor providing it is 'accidental' and the one apologizes for
it".[4]
The motivations of the rescuer are the least obvious. In the
terms of the drama triangle, the rescuer is someone who has a mixed or covert
motive and is actually benefiting egoically in some way from being "the
one who rescues". The rescuer has a surface motive of resolving the
problem and appears to make great efforts to solve it, but also has a hidden
motive to not succeed, or to succeed in a way that they benefit. For example,
they may get a self-esteem boost or receive respected rescue status, or derive
enjoyment by having someone depend on them and trust them – and act in a way
that ostensibly seems to be trying to help, but at a deeper level plays upon
the victim in order to continue getting a payoff.[citation needed].
In some cases, the relationship between the victim and the
rescuer can be one of codependency. The rescuer keeps the victim dependent on
them by encouraging their victimhood. The victim gets their needs met by having
the rescuer take care of them.
In general, participants tend to have a primary or habitual
role (victim, rescuer, persecutor) when they enter into drama triangles.
Participants first learn their habitual role in their family of origin. Even
though participants each have a role with which they most identify, once on the
triangle, participants rotate through all the positions, going completely
around the triangle.[5]
Each triangle has a payoff for those playing it. The
antithesis of a drama triangle lies in discovering how to deprive the actors of
their payoff.[1]
Therapeutic models[edit]
The Winner's Triangle
was published by Acey Choy in 1990 as a therapeutic model for showing patients
how to alter social transactions when entering a triangle at any of the three
entry points. Choy recommends that anyone feeling like a victim think more in
terms of being vulnerable and caring, that anyone cast as a persecutor adopt an
assertive posture, and anyone recruited to be a rescuer should react by being
"caring".[13]
Vulnerable – a
victim should be encouraged to accept their vulnerability, problem solve, and
be more self-aware.
Assertive – a
persecutor should be encouraged to ask for what they want, be assertive, but
not be punishing.
Caring – a
rescuer should be encouraged to show concern and be caring, but not over-reach
and problem solve for others.
The Power of TED,
first published in 2009, recommends that the "victim" adopt the
alternative role of creator, view the persecutor as a challenger, and enlist a
coach instead of a rescuer.[14]
Creator – victims
are encouraged to be outcome-oriented as opposed to problem-oriented and take
responsibility for choosing their response to life challenges. They should
focus on resolving "dynamic tension" (the difference between current
reality and the envisioned goal or outcome) by taking incremental steps toward
the outcomes he or she is trying to achieve.
Challenger – a
victim is encouraged to see a persecutor as a person (or situation) that forces
the creator to clarify his or her needs, and focus on their learning and
growth.
Coach – a rescuer
should be encouraged to ask questions that are intended to help the individual
to make informed choices. The key difference between a rescuer and a coach is
that the coach sees the creator as capable of making choices and of solving his
or her own problems. A coach asks questions that enable the creator to see the
possibilities for positive action, and to focus on what he or she does want
instead of what he or she does not want.[1]
