Weaponised incompetence: the Bondi edition

 SHE’S NOT YOUR MOTHER, SHE’S YOUR FUCKING PARTNER

How Men Confuse Emotional Labour With Love

by Zen Prem

He doesn't want a girlfriend.

He wants a mother who'll also touch his dick occasionally.

It’s Freudian enough that even Freud would take one look and say, “Mate… this is waaaay above my pay grade.”

You've met him.

I’ve been him.

He enters a relationship like a guy walking into a high-stakes poker table with Monopoly money, declaring he’s “working on himself,” as if self-improvement were something he could bluff his way through with a charming smile and two functioning sentences.

The only things he's worked on lately are his FIFA ranking, his protein shake consistency, and a deep, spiritual belief that women are “complicated.”

He doesn’t want partnership. He wants parenting with orgasms.

He wants you to soothe him, organise him, emotionally babysit him, rebuild his self-esteem, stabilise his moods, remind him he’s “a good man,” keep track of his appointments, and praise him like a golden retriever every time he replies to a text within the same 48 hours.

Ask him to communicate? He shuts down like dodgy Wi-Fi in a storm.

Ask him to take accountability? Suddenly you’re “attacking” him , as if holding up a mirror counts as aggravated assault.

Ask him to grow? He becomes a discount monk who “needs space” — not to reflect, but to avoid making eye contact with his own bullshit.

These are the men who call themselves “emotionally unavailable” like it’s an astrological sign and not a giant neon hazard symbol flashing RUN, GIRL ,RUN.

These are the men who think “I’m not good at feelings” is a quirky personality trait, instead of a confession that they've done zero emotional maintenance since the early days of MySpace.

These are the men who expect you to carry every emotional grocery bag while they wander behind you empty-handed saying,

“Babe, I’m just simple,” the same way a toddler explains a mess he definitely made.

No, mate , you're not fucking simple. You're underdeveloped.

And here’s where the comedy becomes tragic:

The moment you stop mothering him, he accuses you of “changing.”

No, sweetheart. She didn’t change , she clocked out of a job she never applied for.

She’s not cold. She’s not mean. She’s not “being dramatic.”

She’s just done being your unpaid therapist, personal assistant, emotional Sherpa, emergency parent, and part-time sex coach.

Love didn’t exhaust her.

Carrying you did

A woman can love you. But she can’t raise you.

She can’t fix wounds you refuse to admit you have.

She can’t carry the entire relationship while you contribute vibes, a Netflix login, and occasional foreplay.

If you want a mother, talk to yours.

If you want a partner, become someone who can actually meet one.

Groundbreaking concept, I know.

And for the men reading this thinking,

“Fuck… this feels personal”…

It is.

That’s how truth works. It slaps the ones who recognise themselves in it.

Women will tag their exes.

Men will either get defensive or get honest.

Choose honest. It’s cheaper than therapy and far less humiliating than waking up at fifty wondering why every woman who ever loved you left looking exhausted.

She’s not your mother.

She’s not your therapist.

She’s not your emotional project manager.

She’s a woman who expected a partner and got a dependent.

Do better. Stop looking for a mother. Grow into a man who doesn’t need one.

Because women are tired. And frankly, so is your mum.

A woman can hold you, heal you, steady you , but she cannot mother the boy you refuse to outgrow.

The boy in you wants to be saved.

The man in you knows he has to do the saving.

© Zen Prem 2025

(Gender shifts. Truth doesn’t.)

If this rattled something loose:

The Lie About Love

Beyond Bullshit to Bliss (with Samantha Spiro)

Available on Amazon

The aussie docs have gone rogue colonial:" I dont want to talk things out. Now I prune."

 Sharia law doesn't have ten fixed, universally agreed-upon principles. However, it can be summarized by its core objectives and the categorization of human actions. The main goals of Sharia are to establish justice, fairness, and mercy, with objectives including the protection of religion, life, intellect, lineage, and property. Human actions are categorized into five categories: obligatory, recommended, permitted, disliked, and forbidden. 

Elaboration:

• Objectives of Sharia:

  Sharia aims to create a just and ethical society by safeguarding fundamental aspects of human life and faith. These include: 

  • Protection of Religion: Ensuring the practice and understanding of Islam. 
  • Protection of Life: Safeguarding human life and well-being. 
  • Protection of Intellect: Fostering knowledge, reason, and critical thinking. 
  • Protection of Lineage: Preserving family structures and relationships. 
  • Protection of Property: Ensuring the fair and just management of wealth and resources. 
• Categorization of Human Actions:

  Sharia categorizes all human actions into five distinct categories, reflecting their moral and legal implications: 

  • Obligatory (Fard/Wajib): Actions that are mandatory for Muslims to perform, such as prayer and fasting during Ramadan. 
  • Recommended (Mustahabb/Mandub): Actions that are encouraged but not obligatory, like giving charity or performing extra prayers. 
  • Permitted (Mubah): Actions that are neither obligatory nor forbidden, providing individuals with freedom of choice. 
  • Disliked (Makruh): Actions that are discouraged but not explicitly forbidden, like wasting resources. 
  • Forbidden (Haram/Mahzur): Actions that are prohibited, such as consuming alcohol or engaging in theft. 
• Other Aspects:

  Sharia also covers various aspects of life, including:

  • Purification (Tahara): Rules regarding cleanliness and hygiene, essential for prayer and other religious practices. 
  • Prayer (Salat): Detailed guidelines for performing prayers, including times, directions, and rituals. 
  • Funeral Prayers and Burial Rituals: Procedures for handling the deceased, including washing, shrouding, and burial. 
  • Islamic Finance: Principles for conducting business and managing finances in accordance with Islamic law. 
  • Marriage and Divorce: Rules governing marital relationships and separation. 
  • Justice and Penal Law: Principles for resolving disputes and administering punishments. 

  
  
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  https://www.instagram.com/reel/DKuUZtPxtCC/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
  

One day...in the meantime: One week till London, assuming Bibi doesn't kill us all.

https://www.theartshesees.com/blog/medusa-with-the-head-of-perseus-the-7-foot-bronze-sculpture-comes-to-lower-manhattan?fbclid=IwAR14TZwffnQwztvomiJz94gnitCbdBdYChPvH2LwfrE61uZMlEVhp9b8d5M 

Jealous of the other person's goodness- A Jordan B Peterson/ Dr Magdalena Battles day.

 

Ignore and avoid

There is a slim percentage of this world that simply does not change no matter what tactic you use to disarm or disengage their jealous behaviors. These haters will hate you because you are too perfect, then they will hate on you the next day because of your faults.

You can never do right by some people. These people, once you recognize who they are, should be limited or cut out of your life. You don’t need someone who is continually trying to tear you down in life. Their own insecurities may be so deeply rooted that only professional help will help change their ways. Their behavior, if it is impeding on your life, and your attempts to make them stop have not worked allow you to cut ties with the individual with more peace of mind.

There is no rule in life that says you have to be friends with every person you know or encounter. There are some mean people in this world who will always be dissatisfied by their own life and thus insult and hate on others constantly. Don’t get sucked into their drama and insults. Avoid them, change jobs if the situation is severe enough that it affecting your mental well being and attitude in life. Don’t allow this type of person to be disruptive to your life. You have control over your life and who you spend time with. Anyone who is continually hurling insults at you out of jealousy is not deserving of your time and energy. If it is a family member, you can limit your time and exposure to the person. If you feel like you need to be around them in order to spend time with the whole family, then avoid direct interactions or make contact as brief as possible. If do interact, remind yourself again that their comments are based on their own unhappiness in life and have nothing to do with you.

You cannot control the way they act, but you can control how you react to this person. Chose the higher ground, which is not reacting to their negativity. Although it will still not be pleasant, not giving them the satisfaction of seeing you upset can help you get over the situation more quickly and move on to more pleasant people and conversations. Don’t allow yourself to get cornered by a person you know is jealous of you, because the outcome will not be good. If you need to simply cut off the conversation and go somewhere else in order to avoid their comments, then do so, because you don’t need to allow yourself to be subject to anyone’s abuse.

Limit your exposure to such a person or cut them out entirely, because you are worthy of loving relationship. There are many people in this world. You don’t need to stick with friends or relationships that are salted with insults based out of jealousy. Life is too short and there are plenty of people in this world who do need a good friend or relationship. Eventually people who act this way out of jealousy will change if and when they realize nobody wants to be around their negativity.

Keep being you

Sometimes having haters is a sign that you are doing things right in life and are successful. People who are jealous of you know that you are doing well and they want that for themselves. Rather than investing their time in making their own lives, better they try to bring others down. Their insults, criticism, and hate are directed at those who they know are better than them, so they try to look for faults in those people so they can think they are better in one way or another. Their jealousy is rooted in their own failures and inadequacies in life.

Don’t allow these people to bring you down. Keep being you and keep being successful. Don’t allow someone else’s own failures to bring you down or prevent you from pursing your dreams. Often having people that dislike you in life is a sign that you are doing a lot right which is exactly why people don’t like you. You will never have favor with everyone you encounter. People will dislike you, especially when you remind them of their own shortfalls or failings. That’s part of the deal in being successful. The more successful you become the more you will find people will become jealous and thus negative commentary will be coming your way.

Do all you can to avoid, disengage, disarm, ignore, or cut these haters out of your life. However, it is not completely unavoidable, so when it does happen don’t allow the haters to stop you for what you are doing in life. Keep being you and remind yourself that their comments are based on their own failures and dissatisfaction with life and have nothing to do with you personally.

Focus on relationships that encourage

You can not make all people happy. There will always be people who will be jealous or hateful to you. It doesn’t matter who you are, everyone has haters. Rather than focusing on changing these people to like you, focus your time and energy on those relationships that are encouraging.

There are plenty of people in this world who are good, positive, and loving. They show love to others in their relationships because they treat others how they also want to be treated. Invest your time and energy with these type of people because they are of high value in your life.

The haters should be kept at arms length or further if possible. Don’t allow the negativity from hateful, jealous people to have power over your life. Chose to be close to people who encourage and support you and your life endeavors. Be of encouragement to those you love too. You will see that the encouragement and love become increasingly symbiotic which can be empowering for everyone involved.

You determine who you allow to influence your life. If you spend a great deal of time with someone who exhibits jealousy toward you, then you will not feel uplifted or encouraged. Seek out the relationships in your life that uplift you, encourage you, and help you become a positive influence in the world.

Relationships are powerful, so make sure yours are rooted in positivity, encouragement, and love. Forget the haters and deal with them only when needed.

who knew he could write

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/19902699/meghan-markle-lose-war-royals-jeremy-clarkson/?utm_campaign=native_share&utm_source=sharebar_native&utm_medium=sharebar_native 

Fell asleep morning on the terrace.

 "According to Aristotlean theory, the first kind of life would be classified as hedonic”—one based on pleasure, comfort, stability, and strong social relationships. The second is “eudaimonic,” primarily concerned with the sense of purpose and fulfillment one gets by contributing to the greater good. The ancient Greek philosopher outlined these ideas in his treatise Nicomachean Ethics, and the psychological sciences have pretty much stuck them ever since when discussing the possibilities of what people might want out of their time on Earth.

But a new paper, published in the American Psychological Association’s Psychological Review, suggests there’s a another way to live a good life. It isn’t focused on happiness or purpose, but rather it’s a life that’s “psychologically rich.”

What is a psychologically rich life? According to authors Shige Oishi, a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, and Erin Westgate, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Florida, it’s one characterized by “interesting experiences in which novelty and/or complexity are accompanied by profound changes in perspective.

According to the study, people who ranked highly on “openness to experience” were more likely to lead psychologically rich lives. Openness to experience, Oishi and Westgate say, is often characterized by “vivid fantasy, artistic sensitivity, depth of feeling, behavioral flexibility, intellectual curiosity, and unconventional attitudes.

And so it stands to reason that someone who is generally artistic and unconventional might be drawn to a life filled with change. As the authors note, “A significant reason neither a happy life nor a meaningful life captures the full range of human motivation is that both happy and meaningful lives can be monotonous and repetitive.”

Meanwhile, the study explains that “a happy life was most strongly associated with extraversion, followed by conscientiousness, and low neuroticism,” while Big Five traits were pretty evenly split among people pursuing meaningful lives. Interestingly, the authors also found that people with psychologically rich lives were more likely to be politically liberal and embrace social change, while those with happy or meaningful lives were more likely to want to uphold the status quo.

One of the authors’ big concerns was whether pursuit of a psychologically rich life is a phenomenon particular to WEIRD (Western, educated, industrialized, rich, and democratic) societies, or something only a privileged person who had their other needs satisfied would desire. But the study found that the idea of a psychologically rich life wasn’t more popular in Western or wealthier countries than other places. And while people with happy lives tended to have higher socioeconomic status, the authors didn’t find significant associations between income and people with psychologically rich and meaningful lives.

“There are times of our life when we accept discomfort and prioritize exploration,” she says, recalling her own travels in hostels when she was a young adult. And research shows that people tend to get happier as they age, which is tied to the fact that “instead of prioritizing challenging experiences, they prioritize familiar things that will make them happy; instead of meeting new people, they prioritize family and close friends. Those things do increase happiness, but may decrease psychological richness.”