About to airport: On the cusp of a gemini full moon, and ive got that ambivalent not sure if I want to go back angst

 Transform, believe manifesr

Alla the prick and the week from hell. #coronial

 The Alzheimer's Shield is REAL.

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Granada airport 8th november ( 23)

Recent trials

The phone had rung deliberately, shrill and urgent, piercing her indecision, with the last batterings of a life that was closing. She knew that, as she had looked towards the forbidding monster, an ugly last century monstrous bakelite, that she had never liked. But lucka had, and Luka had chosen it, on some anniversary somewhere..Back when he had tried to carry all the things, that she could no longer bare to know, until finally, they had both decidedly broken.

The phone had continued to wail on and off like a hungry child; as she had tacked across the rich herring bone floors. French white oak. Imported; and still incessant and repeating, the phone had continued as she had picked up her cases, and walked out of her own front door. The keys she posted through the letterbox. A distraught luca would would find them later. He had loved her, in between all her absent spaces, and for a while she had loved him back, until today, not unlike an exit that opens too quickly, and without air or reason, she had breached towards the surface. To  crowded  sky, in abstract forms, low against brown and distant hills, even with the drone of the air port behind it. Whatever it was she recognised this place, as a place without restraint, without pretence. Just another somewhere moving in a new light. Shifting her bags, a taxi, had approached, like on old man fumbling his way out of the now crowded taxi rank; “where to” he had said, as she had hopped onto the back seat of the car. in a strange growl that was so particular of these parts. For a while she had said nothing, distracted by the people on the side walk of the rank, struggling with luggage, whilst foraging for a mutually offered encompasing embrace; clumps of overcome distance mixed with the half familiar,like a pair of old loves, in a tight circle, and a small child. They were caught in some rudimentary procession, that she was unfamiliar with. The sorties of the connected. And so the driver had asked again, but this time, she had met his eyes, with the covering distance of her own, he had paused looking at her through the mirror, as if in semi doubt; before finally answering for her “ the centre”? And she so had assented not so much in words, but with something that this new place, unlike Luka, would immediately understand. And so he had pulled out into the burgeoning stream of others; she with her head still turned to watch the last of the reuniting family, just as the old man, jolly and brave had lifted up the small and squirming child, like a great papa bear pawing with a salmon. With one last glimpse she had watched them disappear; as the car snaked out fast now,in a new direction towards the new and distant city, with all it's histories that sit around  edges, things she knows she will have to face later. But now was only for the smooth soft momentum, of being capably carried, stretched out, and sunk comfortably back in her seat.. MB

Biood tears and jacked up FY2s #phonewars

 If I must die,

you must live to tell my story to sell my things to buy a piece of cloth and some strings, (make it white with a long tail) so that a child, somewhere in Gaza while looking heaven in the eye awaiting his dad who left in a blaze– and bid no one farewell not even to his flesh not even to himself– sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up above and thinks for a moment an angel is there bringing back love If I must die let it bring hope let it be a tale Rest in Power Refaat Alareer

Fuck you Lyn.

 

To kill a mocking bird in soho

 

the.holistic.psychologist
Verified
HOW HEALTHY PARTNERS REPAIR (and stay emotionally connected):

1. They deal with conflict, directly: they don’t let things linger and both come to the table to openly communicate.

2. They validate their partner’s feelings *even when they disagree with them*: “I understand this really hurt you” “I can see why you feel this way” We don’t need to agree with someone to understand how they feel.

3. They actively listen: they allow their partner to speak without speaking over them. They listen from a space of curiosity (when when triggered) to better understand where there partner is coming from.

4. They own their role: they open and humble and apologize when wrong. This means releasing the ego and defense mechanisms.

5. They don’t fight to win, they seek compromise: they want to win and navigate as a team and have each other’s best interest at heart.

6. They stick to the issue at hand; they don’t bring up the past or bring up absolutist statements (“you always do x”) They speak about the current issue and find solutions, together.

7. They affirm love for each other: conflict can be very stressful or overwhelming (especially when we grew up in homes where conflict meant blow-ups or loss of love.) Post conflict they let their partner know they love them, appreciate them, and that they’re committed to the relationship #selfhealers
2 w

missionsoulignition
You are so right- this stuff is programmed into the subconscious mind so it can be very difficult to override in the heat of the moment when you’re in fight/flight! Nervous system regulation, self validation and reprogramming the subconscious mind have really helped me be a better person during conflict as well as what you said💗
2 w

poet.holly.d.oswalt
My parents had rough arguments. I found out his parents' arguments would sometimes get violent- throwing dishes and breaking each others' stuff. I told him while we were engaged, that we were not going to act like either set of parents. We decided the best way to create a safe home was to let each other know if we were angry, go to a different room to cool down and think of how we want to talk about what made us angry, then talk about it and work through it. If emotions start running high, separate for the moment and come back when calm. We don't run from conflict or hide our feelings. We discuss all the issues without regret because we do not name call, raise our voices, or speak ugly to each other. We calm down and talk it out.
2 w

Cheese toasties and mulled wine sunday at the Tate. #theprocession

 

Owen teale, Marta and the old Vic. " God bless us one and all"

l

 

https://www.whatsonstage.com/london-theatre/news/video-owen-teale-scrooge-a-christmas-carol-old-vic_57625.html

https://www.theatrely.com/post/christopher-nightingale-wins-2020-tony-award-for-original-score-for-a-christmas-carol

https://www.centertheatregroup.org/news-and-blogs/news/2021/november/music-and-lighting-in-a-

christmas-carol/

https://culturalworldbilingual.com/Reviews_Interviews/tag97.php

That 1/2 day last friday Tolu papers part II

She could not speak, so the heavy sat soemwhere in her back, a heavy girth - shoulder width. It was a vowed silence, rooted deep. Like some turned key glum around her neck, each step trudging heavy.

Between the thoughts + threaded, lapsing fading ways. In the very slum of it, she could not see a way to give it back.

Someone elses' trouble. Emotional-prison-complex. Pride +avarice. Arrogance+judgement; spat out and spewed upon her through the gap filled teeth, of an openly proud mouth.

She had taken the turn, stayed for the sour and rotten. Open ended brief. The shit of others. MB

Tomb lady: The Tolu papers.

 The blanket of you is over me- doubling as a shroud, You down my speak into wordlessness. I gather at your wake, with all the other dead harbringers that go to you, to give their ground. You are the lady of the lake, you are the lady of the drown, the place where truthful aspiring happy speak, is swallowed under ground. I wish I had never consented to this tomb of an embrace. MB

shiatsu-ed

 

Jealous of the other person's goodness- A Jordan B Peterson/ Dr Magdalena Battles day.

 

Ignore and avoid

There is a slim percentage of this world that simply does not change no matter what tactic you use to disarm or disengage their jealous behaviors. These haters will hate you because you are too perfect, then they will hate on you the next day because of your faults.

You can never do right by some people. These people, once you recognize who they are, should be limited or cut out of your life. You don’t need someone who is continually trying to tear you down in life. Their own insecurities may be so deeply rooted that only professional help will help change their ways. Their behavior, if it is impeding on your life, and your attempts to make them stop have not worked allow you to cut ties with the individual with more peace of mind.

There is no rule in life that says you have to be friends with every person you know or encounter. There are some mean people in this world who will always be dissatisfied by their own life and thus insult and hate on others constantly. Don’t get sucked into their drama and insults. Avoid them, change jobs if the situation is severe enough that it affecting your mental well being and attitude in life. Don’t allow this type of person to be disruptive to your life. You have control over your life and who you spend time with. Anyone who is continually hurling insults at you out of jealousy is not deserving of your time and energy. If it is a family member, you can limit your time and exposure to the person. If you feel like you need to be around them in order to spend time with the whole family, then avoid direct interactions or make contact as brief as possible. If do interact, remind yourself again that their comments are based on their own unhappiness in life and have nothing to do with you.

You cannot control the way they act, but you can control how you react to this person. Chose the higher ground, which is not reacting to their negativity. Although it will still not be pleasant, not giving them the satisfaction of seeing you upset can help you get over the situation more quickly and move on to more pleasant people and conversations. Don’t allow yourself to get cornered by a person you know is jealous of you, because the outcome will not be good. If you need to simply cut off the conversation and go somewhere else in order to avoid their comments, then do so, because you don’t need to allow yourself to be subject to anyone’s abuse.

Limit your exposure to such a person or cut them out entirely, because you are worthy of loving relationship. There are many people in this world. You don’t need to stick with friends or relationships that are salted with insults based out of jealousy. Life is too short and there are plenty of people in this world who do need a good friend or relationship. Eventually people who act this way out of jealousy will change if and when they realize nobody wants to be around their negativity.

Keep being you

Sometimes having haters is a sign that you are doing things right in life and are successful. People who are jealous of you know that you are doing well and they want that for themselves. Rather than investing their time in making their own lives, better they try to bring others down. Their insults, criticism, and hate are directed at those who they know are better than them, so they try to look for faults in those people so they can think they are better in one way or another. Their jealousy is rooted in their own failures and inadequacies in life.

Don’t allow these people to bring you down. Keep being you and keep being successful. Don’t allow someone else’s own failures to bring you down or prevent you from pursing your dreams. Often having people that dislike you in life is a sign that you are doing a lot right which is exactly why people don’t like you. You will never have favor with everyone you encounter. People will dislike you, especially when you remind them of their own shortfalls or failings. That’s part of the deal in being successful. The more successful you become the more you will find people will become jealous and thus negative commentary will be coming your way.

Do all you can to avoid, disengage, disarm, ignore, or cut these haters out of your life. However, it is not completely unavoidable, so when it does happen don’t allow the haters to stop you for what you are doing in life. Keep being you and remind yourself that their comments are based on their own failures and dissatisfaction with life and have nothing to do with you personally.

Focus on relationships that encourage

You can not make all people happy. There will always be people who will be jealous or hateful to you. It doesn’t matter who you are, everyone has haters. Rather than focusing on changing these people to like you, focus your time and energy on those relationships that are encouraging.

There are plenty of people in this world who are good, positive, and loving. They show love to others in their relationships because they treat others how they also want to be treated. Invest your time and energy with these type of people because they are of high value in your life.

The haters should be kept at arms length or further if possible. Don’t allow the negativity from hateful, jealous people to have power over your life. Chose to be close to people who encourage and support you and your life endeavors. Be of encouragement to those you love too. You will see that the encouragement and love become increasingly symbiotic which can be empowering for everyone involved.

You determine who you allow to influence your life. If you spend a great deal of time with someone who exhibits jealousy toward you, then you will not feel uplifted or encouraged. Seek out the relationships in your life that uplift you, encourage you, and help you become a positive influence in the world.

Relationships are powerful, so make sure yours are rooted in positivity, encouragement, and love. Forget the haters and deal with them only when needed.

Pain still hurts.

 how do I get over/ past Schmurfy?

The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Herbert West: Reanimator by H. P. Lovecraft: late winter night there had been such a match; evidently with disastrous results, since two timorous Poles had come to us with incoherently whispered entreaties to attend to a very secret and desperate case. We followed them to an abandoned barn, where the remnants of a crowd of frightened foreigners were watching a silent black form on the floor. The match had been between Kid O�Brien -- a lubberly and now quaking youth with a most un-Hibernian hooked nose -- and Buck Robinson, "The Harlem Smoke." The negro had been knocked out, and a moment�s examination shewed us that he would permanently remain so. He was a loathsome, gorilla-like thing,