Introduction
On the outside, Mediators (INFPs) may seem quiet or even shy. But they often have vibrant, passionate inner lives. Because they make up such a small portion of the population, people with this personality type may sometimes feel misunderstood or out of step with the world. Fortunately, their caring nature can help them create and sustain deep relationships with their loved ones.
Mediators value authenticity, empathy, and harmony. These personalities tend to act with the best of intentions, and they are rightly proud of this trait. That said, they may feel isolated or discouraged when other people don’t share their idealism.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.
Speaking Their Truth
Many Mediators are curious about the depths of human nature, and they often make an effort to understand other people’s true feelings. This can make them capable of great empathy. It can also enable them to communicate in ways that are sensitive, original, and quite moving.
Perhaps because of these strengths, Mediators tend to crave opportunities for creative self-expression. It comes as no surprise that many famous Mediators are poets, writers, and actors. People with this personality type often enjoy dreaming up all sorts of stories and possibilities.
Mediators have a talent for self-expression. They may reveal their innermost thoughts and secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.
By using their imaginations in this way, Mediators can explore their inner nature and their place in the world. That said, they can have a tendency to daydream and fantasize rather than take action. If they don’t act on their dreams and ideas, Mediators are likely to end up feeling frustrated or unfulfilled.
In Search of a Calling
Mediators may feel directionless or stuck unless they connect with a sense of purpose for their lives. For many Mediators, this purpose has something to do with helping and uplifting others. Empathetic by nature, these personalities may feel other people’s suffering as if it were their own. This only strengthens their motivation to be of service.
Although Mediators might want to help everyone, they may need to focus their attention and energy on one worthy cause at a time. Otherwise, they can become so overwhelmed by all the problems they can’t fix that they’re tempted to give up on even trying. This is a sad sight for Mediators’ friends, who often depend on their hopeful outlook.
Fortunately, like flowers in the spring, Mediators’ creativity and idealism can bloom even after the darkest of seasons. Although they know the world will never be perfect, Mediators still care about making it better however they can. This quiet belief in doing the right thing may explain why these personalities so often inspire compassion, kindness, and beauty wherever they go.
Strengths & Weaknesses
Mediator (INFP) Strengths
- Thoughtful – Mediators care about other people’s feelings. They adjust their actions if they think they might hurt anyone, even unintentionally. Kindheartedness flows from Mediator personalities, and everyone around them tends to benefit from it.
- Generous – Mediators rarely enjoy succeeding at others’ expense. In general, people with this personality type want to share the good things in their lives. They value equality, and they want to ensure that every voice and perspective is heard.
- Open-Minded – Mediators tend to give other people the benefit of the doubt. They aim to be tolerant of other people’s beliefs, lifestyles, and decisions. Generally speaking, Mediators support others’ right to live as they see fit – as long as no one is being hurt.
- Creative – Mediators can often see things from unconventional perspectives. With their ability to make surprising and unexpected connections, it’s no wonder that many Mediators are drawn to creative pursuits and the arts.
- Passionate – When an idea or movement captures Mediators’ imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they can give their whole heart to it. People with this personality type can be reserved or reticent, but that doesn’t diminish their strong feelings for a cause that matches their ideals.
- Loyal to Their Values – Doing the right thing isn’t always easy, but Mediators’ far-reaching vision can help them stay the course. When they’re doing something meaningful, these personalities can have a sense of purpose or even courage that keeps them true to their values.
Mediator (INFP) Weaknesses
- Overly Idealistic – Mediators can take their idealism too far. People with this personality type might idolize their romantic partner or expect every aspect of their job to feel meaningful. This can set them up for disappointment when reality falls short of their dreams.
- Self-Critical – Mediators can expect so much from themselves that they inevitably fall short. When this happens, they may accuse themselves of being selfish or woefully inadequate. This self-criticism can erode their motivation to get things done and their willingness to prioritize necessary self-care.
- Impractical – When something captures Mediators’ imagination, they can become so consumed by it that they neglect practical matters. Some people with this personality type even neglect eating or sleeping as they pursue their passion. Other Mediators can become so enamored with an idea that they’re afraid to act on it because they might not do it perfectly.
- Emotionally Driven – Mediators can become so focused on their emotions that they lose track of what’s really going on. It can be a challenge for these personalities to slow down and make sure that their feelings aren’t preventing them from clearly seeing the facts of a situation.
- Conflict-Averse – Mediators generally prefer to avoid conflict. They can put a great deal of time and energy into trying to please everyone. This desire to please others can drown out their own inner wisdom and make them painfully sensitive to even constructive criticism.
- Difficult to Get to Know – Mediators are private, reserved, and sometimes self-conscious. This can make them somewhat difficult to really get to know. Their need for personal space can contribute to the guilt they feel for not giving more of themselves to those they care about.
Friendships
Mediators (INFPs) are among the most social of all Introverts, and they care about even their most casual acquaintances. That said, they’re still Introverts. This means that they tend to feel most fulfilled by spending time with a small, intimate circle of friends. Acquaintances may come and go, but this inner circle is likely to include Mediators’ friends for life.
Early in a friendship, Mediators may be somewhat reluctant to share their inner lives. They may try to draw out their new friend instead, learning more about that person’s passions and motivations. As the friendship progresses, however, Mediator personalities can find it very meaningful to share their secret dreams and ideas with someone they know they can trust.
The Search for Kindred Spirits
In looking for potential friends, Mediators may find themselves drawn to people who remind them of themselves. Specifically, they may look for people who share their curiosity about human nature and their belief in doing the right thing. Among these kindred spirits, people with the Mediator personality type may feel accepted and understood in a way that helps them bloom in their own time.
That said, Mediators are capable of befriending all sorts of people. The combination of their Intuitive and Prospecting traits draws them to diverse perspectives, which helps them appreciate friends whose experiences and worldviews are totally different from their own. Mediator personalities may actually find it invigorating to connect with someone who, on the surface, has little in common with them.
For Mediators, a true friendship is founded on shared values, not just shared experiences. People with this personality type are unlikely to form strong friendships simply out of convenience. For example, while their affection for their coworkers may be strong, just working in the same office isn’t enough for Mediators to guarantee a substantial friendship. Deeper connections must come into play.
Friends for Life
When Mediators befriend someone, they may secretly (or not so secretly) hope to be friends with that person for life. These personalities are capable of strong, stable friendships marked by passionate support, subtle poetic wit, and a profound level of emotional insight. Their friends will be rewarded with loving sensitivity and depth. A hallmark of this relationship is an ever-present desire to help, learn from, and understand each other.
That said, Mediators do need personal space and alone time in order to recharge. At times, people with this personality type may withdraw from even their closest friends in order to reconnect with themselves and restore their energy, as all Introverts must. These departures are usually temporary, but Mediators may need to make sure that their friends don’t feel snubbed by their absence.
People with this personality type look for ways to improve their friendships and share their affection with those who matter to them. Often, this takes the form of spending quality time with their friends – coming up with big dreams for the future and indulging in deep conversations about all sorts of topics. But even when Mediators are entirely on their own, they always hold their friends in their hearts.
Career Paths
Many Mediators (INFPs) long for a career that doesn’t just take care of the bills but also feels fulfilling. They want to spend their days doing something they genuinely love, preferably without too much stress or drama. For these personalities, an ideal professional life should feel like a calling, not just a job.
At times, idealistic Mediators might struggle to find a profession that meets their practical needs and fulfills their dreams. They may drift in frustration, waiting for the perfect job to present itself and eventually feeling stuck or worried that they’re not living up to their potential. Alas, there’s no such thing as a perfect job. The question of whether to settle for a less-than-ideal position can weigh heavily on people with this personality type.
Fortunately, Mediators stand out for their creativity, independence, and sincere desire to connect with and help others. These traits can help them shine – and find fulfillment – in nearly any line of work.
There’s a Place for Everyone
Mediators can succeed nearly anywhere, but certain fields seem to be especially attractive to these personalities. With their curiosity and their love of self-expression, many Mediators dream of becoming writers. They might write novels, seek out interesting freelance niches, or even find themselves doing communications in a corporate field or for a nonprofit organization. Richly imaginative, Mediators can infuse even the driest of fundraising or marketing materials with new life.
Although these personalities aren’t known for seeking the spotlight, they may find their life’s purpose in the performing arts. Mediators are sensitive to artistic beauty, and some of them simply come to life in the worlds of music, drama, or dance. These Mediators can draw from their inner depths to pull out exquisite interpretations of a creator’s work. Many Mediators also create their own works as playwrights, composers, and choreographers.
Whatever they do, people with this personality type want to feel that their work is helping others. As a result, some Mediators find it gratifying to work with clients face-to-face. Service careers, such as massage therapy, physical rehabilitation, counseling, social work, psychology, and even teaching can be exceptionally rewarding for Mediators, who take pride in the progress and growth that they help foster.
People with this personality type tend to put others’ interests ahead of their own. This is a mixed blessing, as it can make it hard for them to establish a healthy work-life balance. That said, few things are more rewarding for Mediators than seeing their work help change someone’s life for the better.
Finding Their Way
Mediators may find it demotivating to work in high-stress, bureaucratic, or hectic environments. They may also become frustrated by workplaces that are highly critical or competitive. Workplaces that reward independence tend to be a good fit for Mediators, although they may appreciate some structure and oversight to help them avoid procrastination and getting lost in thought.
That said, Mediators don’t need ideal conditions to thrive professionally. These personalities want to live in tune with their values, in their careers as much as in any other aspect of their lives. As long as they feel a strong sense of mission in their work, they can put up with – and overcome – any number of challenges.
Workplace Habits
Mediators (INFPs) want to feel a sense of purpose in their work. Wherever they find themselves on the job ladder, people with this personality type value harmony, and they try to find an emotional and moral connection to their work. These traits color how they respond to authority in the workplace as well as how they express it.
Mediator Subordinates
Mediators can be extremely dedicated and considerate employees. They take pride in being honest and doing the right thing in all circumstances. They also feel gratified by pleasing others, from their bosses to their customers. Mediator personalities feel most motivated when they’re thinking up ways to help others, not worrying about checklists or bottom lines.
This explains why praise and positive feedback can make them light up. On the flip side, criticism can lead Mediators to shut down. When faced with punishing expectations or a highly negative boss, they may find it hard to get things done.
As employees, Mediators enjoy having freedom and latitude. They like to use their creativity rather than just do as they’re told. That said, they tend to benefit from deadlines and clear expectations to keep them on track. Otherwise, people with this personality type might get caught up in perfecting their ideas rather than accomplishing tasks.
Mediator Colleagues
Mediator personalities generally don’t enjoy hierarchies. They like to promote equality in the workplace, and their ideal professional environment is one where everyone feels valued and is encouraged to share their ideas. As colleagues, Mediators do what they can to make this ideal a reality.
Mediators can be private, so they’re probably not the social butterflies of their workplace. That said, they tend to be pleasant and kindhearted colleagues, and they can be quite friendly. Mediators don’t like conflict, drama, or workplace politics. Instead, they try to act in ways that foster harmony and cooperation. When one of their coworkers needs help, Mediators will often pitch in without any expectation of praise or recognition.
One of Mediators’ greatest contributions as colleagues is their empathetic communication style. These personalities speak in a way that’s honest but kind, which can set a positive tone for the entire workplace.
Mediator Managers
As managers, Mediators are among the personality types least likely to act as if they’re in charge. They respect their employees as full-fledged human beings, not just as workers. Rather than make all the decisions themselves, they often ask to hear their employees’ thoughts and opinions.
In general, people with this personality type don’t micromanage. Instead, they keep their eyes on the big picture. They see it as their responsibility to support their employees, not to tell them exactly what to do and how to do it. Whenever possible, they encourage the people who work for them to develop their own ideas and use their own best judgment.
There is a downside to this management style. Sometimes Mediators may struggle to set boundaries, drill down on inefficiencies, or offer criticism, even when it’s necessary. This can slow down their team and create needless stress, both for Mediators and for their employees. At times, managers with this personality type may need to be strict for the good of their team.
